The New Bottoming Book

The New Topping Book

Leather/Fur Slapper

Rope Flail

Basic Adjustable Nipple-Clamps

In the words of a friend, "I don't mind pain, it's discomfort I can't stand." The trick is to find out what kinds of sensations are comfortable, and which aren't.

At this juncture, it is good to remember that the human body, as standard equipment, is provided with a general, all-purpose, extremely flexible sex toy: the hand. Know it. Use it. You can discover a tremendous amount about what sex toys you might like just by doing things with your hand. Like spanking? Consider crops or paddles. Like having your nipples pinched? Consider nipple-clamps. Like being held down? Consider restraints.

And think of the fun you'll have experimenting!

Before we get to the products, we have some basic advice to those of you who are examining this kind of play:

1. Can we please stop calling it "Sadomasochism"?

Well, you can call it whatever you like. But the amount of baggage that the terms "Sadism" and "Masochism" carry would get you bumped from any domestic airline. It's sad when people avoid some perfectly safe, healthy, and fun activities because they are worried that doing so will immediately transform them into clinically-insane perverts.

Don't worry about terms, or "what it means" that you like to have your fanny paddled. It's just sex. It's just having fun in bed.

2. Watch. Look. Listen.

As you venture into the world of sensation play, realize that you are doing things which are more extreme than just fucking. Take it slow. Be careful.

One particularly direct bit of advice: Do not combine gags with this kind of play until you are very familiar with it; it is not a good idea to cut off the primary method of communication and feedback when one is learning how do to something.

3. More is not better. Better is better.

We've never liked it when people treat perversion as a competitive sport. "I got beaten until I was so bruised I couldn't sit for a week!" "That's nothing, I got beaten until I lost all feeling in my extremities for a month!" Please, what are we trying to prove, here? Sure, there is always room for pride in accomplishment. But feeling that one is not a "good enough pervert" unless one can take a certain amount of punishment or inflict a certain amount of pain is snobbery of the worst kind.

Enjoy what you do. Don't do what you don't. And don't try to live up to standards that prevent you from enjoying it.

Whenever we're advising people on exploring new areas of sexuality, a general Blowfish principle is "Information before equipment." Too many folks buy the toys first, then get disappointed when the toys don't magically change their sex lives. We feel that it's much better to get information first, toys second. If you find out a little about your new hobby before buying a lot of stuff at the hobby shop, you'll have a better idea of which toys would work for you -- and you'll have a whole lot more fun with your toys if you know a little about them before you pick them up and start whacking.

We'll recommend three great books for beginners. Consensual Sadomasochism is the single best general guide we know of on SM, bondage, dominance/ submission, and other related activities. It's written for folks of all genders and preferences, and covers an exhaustively thorough range of SM play, in a well-written and clearly-organized style. If you're just going to get one book on the subject, this is the one to get.

If you know you mostly want to bottom, or if you know you mostly want to top, you can get some excellent information and insight on your pleasures and preferences from The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book.

Then, the toys. We have a tremendous variety of utensils designed to create a wide variety of pleasurably painful (or painfully pleasurable) sensations. There's skinny little stingy things, and there's wide, flat smacky things, and there's long, flexible, floggy-and-whippy things. There are sharp scratchy things (along with gentle stroky things, wonderful for after-play soothing) too.

For nipple-clamps, a considerable variety is available on their very own page. And there's an astonishing variety of toys for binding and tormenting cocks and balls.

Want some suggestions that are a little more specific? We'd recommend starting with a nice paddle or slapper; the Leather/Fur Slapper is an excellent place to start.

If you'd like something in a flogger, the Rope Flail is a wonderful place to start; soft and not too heavy, but with a definite impact.

All of our nipple-clamps are great; but for starting out, you probably want something simple and with a lot of adjustability. Hence, the Basic Adjustable Nipple-Clamps, which are among our most popular.

Try out various combinations, see what interesting things you can find out about each other, and above all, have fun! Also, to help you find other things of this type that you might enjoy, we've collected all of our BDSM products in one convenient Bondage & SM related products page; take a look!