|Sex Ed||About Avanti Condoms|
"Pain" is a loaded, imprecise term for a wide range of
interesting feelings. Christophe has had more than one lover
who "wasn't into pain" who loved to be spanked
("that's not pain"), or have her nipples molested to
the point of attachment issues ("that's not pain,
that's, uh, strong sensations!").
In the words of a friend, "I don't mind pain, it's discomfort I can't stand." The trick is to find out what kinds of sensations are comfortable, and which aren't.
At this juncture, it is good to remember that the human body, as standard equipment, is provided with a general, all-purpose, extremely flexible sex toy: the hand. Know it. Use it. You can discover a tremendous amount about what sex toys you might like just by doing things with your hand. Like spanking? Consider crops or paddles. Like having your nipples pinched? Consider nipple-clamps. Like being held down? Consider restraints.
And think of the fun you'll have experimenting!
Before we get to the products, we have some basic advice to those of you who are examining this kind of play:
Whenever we're advising people on exploring new areas of sexuality, a general Blowfish principle is "Information before equipment." Too many folks buy the toys first, then get disappointed when the toys don't magically change their sex lives. We feel that it's much better to get information first, toys second. If you find out a little about your new hobby before buying a lot of stuff at the hobby shop, you'll have a better idea of which toys would work for you -- and you'll have a whole lot more fun with your toys if you know a little about them before you pick them up and start whacking.
We'll recommend three great books for beginners. Consensual Sadomasochism is the single best general guide we know of on SM, bondage, dominance/ submission, and other related activities. It's written for folks of all genders and preferences, and covers an exhaustively thorough range of SM play, in a well-written and clearly-organized style. If you're just going to get one book on the subject, this is the one to get.
If you know you mostly want to bottom, or if you know you mostly want to top, you can get some excellent information and insight on your pleasures and preferences from The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book.
Then, the toys. We have a tremendous variety of utensils designed to create a wide variety of pleasurably painful (or painfully pleasurable) sensations. There's skinny little stingy things, and there's wide, flat smacky things, and there's long, flexible, floggy-and-whippy things. There are sharp scratchy things (along with gentle stroky things, wonderful for after-play soothing) too.
Want some suggestions that are a little more specific? We'd recommend starting with a nice paddle or slapper; the Leather/Fur Slapper is an excellent place to start.
If you'd like something in a flogger, the Rope Flail is a wonderful place to start; soft and not too heavy, but with a definite impact.
All of our nipple-clamps are great; but for starting out, you probably want something simple and with a lot of adjustability. Hence, the Basic Adjustable Nipple-Clamps, which are among our most popular.
Try out various combinations, see what interesting things you can find out about each other, and above all, have fun! Also, to help you find other things of this type that you might enjoy, we've collected all of our BDSM products in one convenient Bondage & SM related products page; take a look!
|Sex Ed||About Avanti Condoms|
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